Supsup Readers!!!!


Wow...time really flies..In an blink of an eye..4 weeks has past..holidays are over..Sad but life goes on..hahas...I kinda miss school...I miss my class...as in class not classmates...woot getting an air-con room this half of the year...so happy...don't need complain hot anymore ler..now must complain cold..LOL...so no link in what am I tying lah..hahas..I'm just sian lah..hahas..

Holidays has been really great and sad for me...Happy because I really experience GOD every single day of the holidays..Sad because for the last 2 weeks I didnt like really go to church..have been falling sick and today overslept..oh dear...GOD save me give me engery...

What happen during the camp? Oh you guys wanna know? Its truly awesome..someone who I really didnt expect came to the camp..and that person is none other than Jing Yi..woot I miss her alot...as friends...*do not think too much* She's just a super ultra close friend.. In camp I reallly did experience God during the entire camp I was reminded that he is there for me and really showered his love on me...When I was leading worship, I really like ok I must lead the campers into worship mood..The songs I did was All that I am ,Making a difference, Give us clean hands and pure hearts, Lord I give you my heart. Awesome songs...and I reallly feel that GOD was right in front of me...looking at the way I was leading his people into worship..God thank you so much for letting me lead in worship...After worship, had dinner...then we travel to Pentecost church.. And renewed my covenant with the Lord...and we got a crush ball which is suppose to be the things that I have to let go in order to get closer to GOD..The only thing that is holding me back from the Lord is my emotions...Everyone has it..Just that mine was super ultra over whelming...God may I really put this down...and may i never give in into my emotions...

Alright got to go...cya!!!! May the frist day of school be pleasing in your sight God..=)

Hey all..

Wow today I feel so...so offf...no mood to do anything...but I manage to focus on God when we were leading worship..then after that..I'm so off..no mood to do anything at all...played games...the feeling of being left out is there...the jealousy of people is also that...


I just realise that I dun really have any peers there at all...I have peers outside from other places..But we don't usually meet...haiz...I hate myself so much...I hate my weakness and everything..I just hate it!!! Even my talents everything...I always promise myself I will live my life to the fullest..But what's going on in my life? Shits..overwhelming emotions..Life is so selfish I always care for others and what does people do? Take advantage of me and everything..Use me for their own needs and I just put a smile on my face all the time to cover up all my hurts..Kinda tough to do all that really...I just pretend that nothing happen and just get hurt from the inside.. Having a heart to forgive them is there..But what about myself? people just blame me for the small little things that I have done and remembers it and use it against me...I'm all alone in this dark and super scary place with no one there to light it up for me..Even if there's light, its dim can't even last for 2 days? I don't know...No one wants to be my friend..No one is willing to listen to all problems...No one..I really cannot stand it...So what if people forgives me..So what if there is someone is willing to listen to me..I'm sure they will use that information against me..

Whenever I'm out of my comfort zone, there will be someone that will push me in..I really cannot take it anymore...I really want to end my life...Giving up all my dreams, my hopes and everything I have...I really cannot take it anymore...there's a phrase that says be careful what you wish for, or you might just get it..Well here I am wishing for this..God please take me away I don't want anymore of this...its really too much...My heart...is being Perice through by an arrow or worst by a sword...I really had enough already..please...no more...I cannot take it anymore...

ok i have to go already...I will update my blog again sooon...cya

Supsup Readers!!!!


Hey all!!! Wow today...practical exam!!!! So scary...Heart pumping at like 10 times per 1 second...Hahas...Lol I think I anyhow say de...Crap me...Hahas...Just receive my exams paper yesterday..!!! What the heck lo...Fail 1 subject...And they are none other than MATHS!!!...zZz of all paper I must fail math...damm sad...when I got the paper...paper 2 I scored like 24/50 not that bad and I tell myself cannot cry...and than when I receive paper 1, which is 22/50 the tears just dropped...and I was like what the hack am I crying for...just 1 paper only what..thinking of it really make me very sad...But not to worry...I scored very well for all of my the other subject...so cool...cause I know I did my best...but for math...is cause that when I was doing it my science formula came and I was like stuck all the way...But I was quite happy when I got my science paper...woot!!! TOP AGAIN...but no improvement from last year...cause I scored 50/75 and last year was 50.5/75...screw the 0.5...hahas...lol...nvm I shall work harder for my EOY...here I come as I am studying hard and smart for it...I will make sure I top for every single subject...here I come...woot!!! JIAYOZZ JED YOU CAN DO IT>>.<<>

alright got to go....tata!!!

Supsup Readers..

Wow actually blog twice in a day...not feeling so well now...why??? Why is there always people out there who wants to cheat your feelings...No matter how much I tried to give that person a chance there is always that line that i will never for get how much hurt that I have suffered in the past...Looks like history is going to repeat itself again...Why why why!!! am I the only one who recieves this kind oof things...I had enough!!!!

Supsup Readers

Hello guys...its been a while since I last wrote anything..Reason being...nothing to post...exams...and a lot other things..well I am not complaining but at times i really feel jealous.. And because of that I want to make myself like that person..hopefully can do better than him/her..But I just can't a lot of people can say that I am kind nice naive jolly and have no problems at all...well I can tell you all this...Have you all ever wondered what is it like to be alone even when you have friends around you..That feeling...I always feel..Do you have any idea what's that feeling...I do..For the past 3 years..even when I am with my friends from OYC, even just a simple lunch I can be left out..most likely they forget about me..then I will just be like staring at my phone hoping that someone can sms me..but that wont happen anymore..I remembered one of my friends saying,' Even your best friends might fail you". Trust me..honestly it does..I had that experience...and the temtation of not going OYC is always there you know..and I just wanna just give up on all of them..I will only be notice when they need me...

What do I mean?? For example...worship...not that I am saying that it is really a bad thing to play for worship but when you have burdens and you are playing its not really good though..I have been praying about it..hopefully GOD will be able to do something about it..secondly will be going out...They will only call me when there really isnt any other people anymore..like I'm in the last slot and always keep asking me at a wrong time...then when it is finally settle, someone will suddenly just tell me its cancel...and reason saying oh I have no mood going to movie already...what kind of weird excuess is that right...Haiz never mind...I have nobody to count on..

In my life there are only a few people that I really trust and have faith that he or she will be able to make a difference in my life...and these people are...GOD, Jonas, Russell, Tim Liang, Kenneth Lim, Ben Sim and Joel Tieh..They are all from ACSI..Even though I dont get to talk to them much..but..they are the people who is willing to spare sometime for me..listening to all my problems and feelings..expically Jonas...I remembered last year during the decipleship camp, I was ssms-ing him throughout the whole camp...Get what I mean now by even you have friends beside you, you will still feel lonely? This is what I mean...I'm quite blessed to meet him...He was one of the few primers who is willing to listen to me...Thank GOD for him..if not...today there wont be a me anymore...

Hahas...so happy...EXAM ARE FINALLY OVER AT LAST...4 days to rest...THAT's GREAT..and wednesday and thursday is our school's house games..and Friday...ooh...the day that I thought that will never come...WHICH is my EOY practical exam...OMG!!! SO SCARY so to those who had read my blog do pray for me thanks!!!! Hahas...got to go now...hope that i will be able to post again real soon!!!! Niteynitez...

Supsup Readers!!!

The saddest day of my life


People always says Sweet 16...But today is the day that I turn 16...Its not sweet...its terrible...I hate today...

This first and the last sms I get is from kelly...why..? Today is the way when I break my friendship with every single one of them..They blame me that I got them into detention...why can't they ask themselve how do they get into this kind of mass..I guess what they know the best..Blame others but not themselve...want me to feel bad...NO WAY...you all are in the fault..blame me for wat...All you people know is to take advantage of me...I know it ok..you will only call me when you need me the most...if not...just throw me at 1 side..untill I am of use again...What kind of friends do I have...I just you readers will know after you read all this...

In OYC...I didn't really do anything much maybe just play bridge...and listening to my music...texting the people who are once my friends...and of course texting jonathan and rou juan...What kind of birthday wish I have? Insults blames and a lot more...

I'm thankfully for this few people...Jonathan, Rou Juan and Russell...Jonathan was like texting me and keep asking me whether I was ok and stuff...Rou Juan...same as Jonathan...Russell...He was talking to me throughout the whole night...Thanks...

Anyway only 1 hour more till my birthday ends..and I am going to sleep..Niteynitez...

Supsup readers!!!

Wow its been quite a while since I last blog..This few days has been really tired..Maybe lazy to blog is also one reason..But I just feel that I should blog today..Because I have like so much work and busy with worship practice...I am not complaining but sometimes I really feel the pressure from my peers..my expectations and others has been there...and now..finding friends meeting new friends is a total different things...I met a new friend in maple again...and he happens to be a christian...so cool..I keep asking myself why I always meet friends who are christian...and when I listen to their life changing experience it really warms up my heart because I get to know other christians and listen to their stories..

Well enough of that...My BIRTHDAY is coming...SUPER COOL!!! Well I shall list down the things I want and hopefully I will get it though..

Well I want a new pencil box, a new phone, new t-shirts..and make more friends who I can really be friends with them..Hahas...LOL at times I don't really like my birthday at times...because I will know whether they remember my birthday...and I will either get hurt or happy...anyways...got to go..need rest...Hahas...

SEE YA!!! TATA>>>.<<<